Burksey is, without a doubt, the best football book you've never heard of. Hilariously funny book shops just didn't know which shelf to put it on - if only there was a shelf for spoof footballer autobiography written by a fictional character. Written with a great ear for mimicry, Burksey is the spoof ghosted autobiography of the world’s most infamous footballer – Stephen Burkes. Comically charting the sensational, ludicrous and yet strangely believable world of the fictitious superstar Manchester United, Chelsea, Spurs and England striker, Burksey reveals the ‘real’ reasons why Gazza cried at Italia 90, why footballers wore such tight shorts in the 1980s, how Gaby Logan became addicted to lip gloss and why Gareth Southgate missed that penalty at Euro 96. Burksey is never short of a controversial word about his contemporaries. Of England manager Graham Taylor he says: ‘A motivational tool? He certainly was.’ Of the hated German foe: “Just looking at the cocky Matthias Sammer made me want to stick one on him. And that also went for Reuter. Scholl. Kuntz. The lot of them.” And of himself, Burksey rails: “Steve Burkes was a trainee drunk and a hyperactive pervert who enjoyed interfering with dead goats. And people complain there are no characters in the game any more.” No areas of modern celebrity culture are left untouched by the satire in this book. From BritArt to Politics, Rehab Clinics to the Mafia, Burksey examines them all from his own unique angle. Although the three Ds – drink, drugs and dolls – form the cornerstone of his leisure activities, Burksey’s takes on his other interests – politics, contemporary art and any number of modern cultural phenomena – are never less than provocative. As are his views on the numerous sporting and national celebrities with whom he crosses paths during his rumbustious career; including David Beckham, Jeremy Clarkson, Wayne Rooney, Tony and Cherie, Sven, Damien Hirst, Eric Cantona, the Pope, Glenn Hoddle and Mother Theresa. This ground-breaking book is a satire for the 21st century, which everyone should read. The Author, Peter Morfoot is a well-known comedy writer having written for TV, radio and the stage. His work includes CHANGE AT OGLETHORPE and the sketch show series TV TO GO, both for the BBC, he has also been a member fo the scriptwriting teams of BBC Radio 4's WeekEnding and ITV's Coronation Street. He has also written for Mirror Group Newspapers websites and various other media. Praise for Burksey: 'Written in authentic footballerese, it goes down better than a South American striker in the box.' Pat Nevin "Burksey does for football what Spinal Tap did for rock and roll bands." The League Paper "Very very funny... sure-fired to give you more belly laughs than a night out with Johnny Vegas" Time Out "A funny, savage and endlessly inventive satire on modern football, Burksey is also a compelling story in its own right." Gareth Edwards, Producer of Dead Ringers & Spaced “as funny as anything you will ever read… an hilarious tale of two halves is also a tale of our times which exposes football’s haughtiness." Peter Sharkey, Yorkshire Post